the blogwagon, all aboard

September 27, 2006, 11:42 pm
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I got very high very fast.. on the ride home i snapped pictures with the negative function on my camera and used very slow shudder speeds to make random images.

I got home and stared at them until I could see an object in each one.

(more in slideshow here: my myspace (slideshow)

I wasted a long time explaining how i came to see everything in the description field they give you for uploading.. unfortunately I have no clue as to how one would find those descriptions.

marching penguins

penguins marching


horse race



escapee staring at water

prison escapee staring at water


desert kiss

desert kiss





dead seal

poached seal


graceful dance

graceful dancer








all aboard

all aboooaard



my core philosophy (latest edition)
August 25, 2006, 11:01 pm
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it started out with a simple idea when i was riding with some friends to the mall circa 2000 that: perception will often times dictate reality. (in fact almost always) for instance: a child afraid of the dark will imagine monsters crawling around in the shadows beneath his vision. A man will see beauty in the world and often credit a god or greater power. a situation in the movie Pi which i found profound at the time was the old mentor pointing out to his pupil that when one becomes obessed with things.. such as a number for instance, one will find this number everywhere– 216 steps to the grocy store, 216 pieces of rice on his plate, 216 this, 216 that. the mind is constantly seeking reaffirmation of its foundations. (i experienced this firsthand when my mother picked the number 44 as her ‘lucky’ number and was superstitious enough to let that number haunt her at every turn.. every time becoming more convinced by its significance.)

so it came to me in a flash, that ‘existence is relative to individual perception’. this way i could allow for the ‘existence’ of god and account for my atheism as well. When one believes in god for instance, “god” will effect them on very real levels. “god” or the notion of god becomes an active influence in their everyday life. If I were to argue with this person that their god is only a concept, they would feel threatened and indeed almost necessarily so.. the brain craves consistancy. our lives often depend on it: most every fear is the result of evolutionary conditioning. indeed, we may be afraid of the dark because we have always been most vulnerable in darkness. Now, some fears are less appropriate than others but its no easy matter to reset these irrational fears.

but they can be changed. and so i reiterate: existence is relative to individual perception.

i recently had a conversation about psychology and treatment.. having expressed that i do not place much stock in psychology, i ended up having to accept that it can works.. just as faith healing can ‘work’. just like religion can work.. violence can work.. the concepts of right and wrong are ALWAYS subject to scrutiny. even the concept of duality is shaken under this way of thinking. And lord knows i hate duality.

August 21, 2006, 1:22 am
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August 12, 2006, 2:24 am
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well said, sir.. well said.

whenever i catch up on news like what’s happening in lebanon, i feel a pit in my stomach start to form.. how is my life so removed from this horror that I often wake up late in the afternoon.. bored, wondering what it is I’ll do on whichever given day– and yet.. my sloth meets undeserved wealth at every step I take. I feel sick and useless… i feel immeasurable shame.

and then.. I wonder how can i feel so ungrateful for this… lifestyle.. for these opportunities. How do I reject all these handouts? My education, for instance, went to shit- I am not working, I live at home… A life of ridiculous leisure.. Sometimes I wish I were born somewhere rougher.. somewhere that would necessitate a stronger character than the one I’ve developed here. and some days I dream about throwing myself into the world to let it mould me.. something like punctuated equilibrium. I wish I felt like I belonged to a larger group of people than my immediate friends. I wish I believed in politics..

But then I think about human nature.. and that those in power– they didn’t just chance upon it… they’ve lied, cheated, stolen, used, and manipulated their way to the top.. and they’re crafty.. oh god, they’re crafty. Bush is nothing, he is a puppet. The banks own the world. the banks create war. the banks reap the rewards. and this discourages me to no end…

finally, I find myself needing to love and accept.. and I realize that life plays itself out like this. even during war, violence, terrorism, hypocrisy… the world is as perfect as it can be. and it always is. I remember deciding once in sixth grade that there was no good or evil. I knew it in my heart but I could never explain it.. nor can i explain it now. but its enough to know.

My heart goes out to the lives being spent on this war.. lives on both sides.. both sides seem to know they’re in the right.. hell if that isn’t always the case.

drunkedness etc
August 10, 2006, 3:58 am
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last night was the first time i’ve ever done a keg stand.. i got 11 seconds which is decent, i’m told.

anyway :p photos from teh day and night.


battle tubing.


^ heh, nick’s secret tactic during croquet.. if you play croquet, it’ll make sense to you :p


erik and dylan chowing on some grapes.


peder fucked up his face earlier in the day because he’s too tall for diving, apparently.  nick the birthday boy soars over him.


cheers 🙂

August 8, 2006, 2:47 pm
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tomorrow i’m going to PURPOSELY get waayyy too drunk and probably end up vomiting in the woods.


be there or be from some other part of the globe :O (and you know how much god hates that)

August 7, 2006, 4:58 pm
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severin likes to call people “nazi cat” when his page isn’t set up to allow non “e-bloggers” to reply in comments :O